All of this traveling and reading and aloneness, and beauty feeds my soul. I write this one afternoon while sitting in the youth hostel in Bouillon. Eight beds, but I’m the only one there. And this comes out:
You know, even in my religious days, I never could understand why people needed life to have a point. There is such a huge fear if this universe being pointless. I think this fear is just a consequence of a larger fear. The fear of inadequacy and a short life span. We are beings who can conceive of vast amounts of time, yet live only a short amount of it. Our strong instinctual, animalistic desire to live makes us sad and disappointed when we think about how short our loves really are. So, therefore, we think that there MUST be more. There must be a reason that our lives our so short. Otherwise, it would all be for nothing.
I think that in this train of thinking humans are not focusing on the important aspect of the situation. Acceptance. If humans can accept that this is it, and get past their suffering, then they can focus on the joy of being alive.
Personally, I don’t really care if the universe has point. I could care less. And as for a short life span, I agree, that can be depressing. But, for me that just means that I must make the most out of everyday. I must feel alive because after all it is that (life) that we all really want.
That’s another subject, life. I mean, you could say that there are those who want to kill themselves, and to that I would ask, Are they really living life? I can’t say in actuality, but to me there is something more to life that a heart beat. I mean to define life I guess I would start there, but then I think that is goes on; a twinkle of the eye, a special flick of a fin. There is this essence. This joy.
I think that there is this huge connection between human instinct and emotion and perception. Humans forget that they are animals. In fact, they adamantly protest if someone says so. They’re like, “yeah, but we have conciseness, and knowledge, and intelligence, etc.” I really suspect that human beings do not realize that they are acting by instinct most of the time. We are acting by instinct, but we have more creative ways to carry out our instinct. Sometimes I think that the part of us that makes us human evolved out of the same part of the brain that keeps us alive, (or in line with the idea of the part of the brain that keeps us alive). Our emotions and conciseness was just mother natures way of helping us to survive. We think that we are different than other animals, but instead of developing bigger teeth or claws to keep us alive, we developed emotions and the ability to act on them in a way that other animals cannot. When I look at it this way, it makes it much easier for me to understand my emotions and it makes it much easier for me to understand human beings as a whole.
“I need to be loved,” “I need to feel important,” “I need to feel useful,” and so on, these feelings all feed into, “I need to stay alive.” And how do apes stay alive? They live in small communities. So, you can see how these feelings feed into the idea of “staying alive.” If I am part of a group, and if I am a valued part of the group, then I have a better chance of living.
But, of course, all of these ideas have been convoluted since the dawn of man. Or, you could say that the need to stay alive is so great for man(and woman!)kind, that he/she has thought of ever more creative ways to feel important and to create life security.
And now the question becomes, how do we tame these run away feelings? Or, should we even try? I think maybe yes, we should try, because if we do, then our lives will be even more secure. (If and only if the race acts as a whole). If I can accept my suffering (and by this I mean natural suffering, not imposed suffering) and I can accept my joy, then I, and all others, can thrive. Then maybe we can so whatever makes us happy. Oooooo, the scary phrase. But, if you think about it, then really it is not, it is natural. When someone says, “do whatever makes you happy,” or, “people should do what ever makes them happy,” people automatically hear, “do whatever you want.” Doing whatever you want and doing what makes you happy are two completely different things. I don’t think that if people are truly doing what truly makes them happy, then they are doing evil things (even though I truly don’t know what evil means :) ). I don’t think that humans instinctively do “mean” and “hurtful” things on purpose, I think that the human instinct to live is so great that if it feels harmed (including emotionally, especially emotionally), then it will do “mean” and “hurtful” things as an instinct. Of course we try to train our little humans (children) not to react that way when they feel threatened, but still, even with the training (which is often improper) we still do it.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
And so it goes...
I went to the most beautiful rose garden and a castle that has been around since the 1200s (and also hit a quick geocach), the day was enchanting and all was well with the world. Seeing the thousands of blooms made me thing of my favorite love song. It is a melancholy one (pictures of the rose garden and the castle are at the link dated 6.24.2010) and so I leave you with the lyrics of And So It Goes:
In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along
I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense
And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose
But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break
And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows
So I would choose to be with you
As if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows
In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along
I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense
And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose
But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break
And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows
So I would choose to be with you
As if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Leuven 6.20.2010
Sunday means trip to Leuven. Leuven is a city near Brussels. In the morning we went to the flea market that they have there only on Sundays. This one was much bigger and had more of a variety that the one in Brussels. The most enticing part was all of the food. The fruit and the olives, big bunches of each thing. How could you not want to eat it all! The way that it is displayed it to die for! It makes me want to cook!
Afterward we headed to the center of town and saw Stadhuis (Town Hall, also called the wedding cake, see the pictures) and Sint-Pieterskerk (collegiate church of Saint Peter). Then we walked through Oude Market (really a street called the longest bar in Europe because the whole stretch of the street is all bars), people were gathered watching a world cup game. We wanted to go the botanical garden so we went down Monderbroederstraat until we got to Kruidtunn, the botanical garden.
I truly enjoy photographing flowers and plants. Check out the link with date 6.20.2010 to see the flower pics.
After all on the flowers our tummies were a rumblin’ so we ate at Bar Louis. It was a calm laid-back place where you could watch the world go by.
Afterward we headed to the center of town and saw Stadhuis (Town Hall, also called the wedding cake, see the pictures) and Sint-Pieterskerk (collegiate church of Saint Peter). Then we walked through Oude Market (really a street called the longest bar in Europe because the whole stretch of the street is all bars), people were gathered watching a world cup game. We wanted to go the botanical garden so we went down Monderbroederstraat until we got to Kruidtunn, the botanical garden.
I truly enjoy photographing flowers and plants. Check out the link with date 6.20.2010 to see the flower pics.
After all on the flowers our tummies were a rumblin’ so we ate at Bar Louis. It was a calm laid-back place where you could watch the world go by.
Walk through Woluwe 6.19.2010
On Saturday me, my mom, and Tim headed out to Chievres, an Army base. We went to the BX/PX and commissary and visited my parent’s pets that are in the kennel there until they get their permanent place.
In the afternoon Tim had to go to the Chiropractor for his first visit. Here, there is no receptionist, just the doctor. The doctor does everything. It was going to be awhile, so the doctor told my mother and I that we should take a walk at Parc de Woluwe.
So we did. The pond was beautiful and the swans and ducks were not shy at all. It was a nice walk with my mom.
In the afternoon Tim had to go to the Chiropractor for his first visit. Here, there is no receptionist, just the doctor. The doctor does everything. It was going to be awhile, so the doctor told my mother and I that we should take a walk at Parc de Woluwe.
So we did. The pond was beautiful and the swans and ducks were not shy at all. It was a nice walk with my mom.
Long walk through Brussels 6.17.2010
Wednesday we really didn’t do any thing because my sister got sick in the middle of the night and kept her and my mother up, so I had to make them food and what not that day. I found some places I wanted to go to on Wednesday also.
On Thursday we ( me, my mother, and sister) got up early and caught the metro (and bus) to the flea market in Brussels. It is located in Place du Jeu de Balle and is there every day from about 8a to 2p (or as they would say in Brussels 8:00 - 14:00) There was a lot of old junk there and a lot to dig through! People who love garage sales would be in heaven at this flea market. Out of all of the old junk some how I found something that suited me perfectly…..a giant wooden penis! And I got it for only €5!
After the flea market we walked down Rue Blaes until we got to Place de la Chapelle were there was a nice church and a great little Frite stand were I had a Mitraillette. It’s a type of baguette sandwich, but they add frites on top (think hamburger with French fries on it).
We walked on and passed this castle looking remnant. We can’t figure out what it is called, but it looked pretty cool. We arrived at Place de L’Albertine and walked through Mont Des Arts. The building that houses the Musical Instrument Museum was very interesting. Then we wandered through Parc de Bruxelles. After sitting for awhile we decided that we wanted to visit our favorite bakery before heading home. That was our first mistake.
When we go off of the Metro, we couldn’t get on the right bus because the EU had all of the streets in the area blocked off for some type of function. So we had to walk, SOME PEOPLE started go in the wrong way, I won’t say who! But, we eventually got there. When it was time to leave, we were going to catch the bus because of all of the walking that we had to do all day, but no, the EU spoiled our plains yet again! So more walking. But it was okay because we got to go through the park Cinquantenaire again and I got some really beautiful pictures of roses and other flowers. There all on the plants here that bloom have SOOOOOO many blooms on them. It’s beautiful!
On Thursday we ( me, my mother, and sister) got up early and caught the metro (and bus) to the flea market in Brussels. It is located in Place du Jeu de Balle and is there every day from about 8a to 2p (or as they would say in Brussels 8:00 - 14:00) There was a lot of old junk there and a lot to dig through! People who love garage sales would be in heaven at this flea market. Out of all of the old junk some how I found something that suited me perfectly…..a giant wooden penis! And I got it for only €5!
After the flea market we walked down Rue Blaes until we got to Place de la Chapelle were there was a nice church and a great little Frite stand were I had a Mitraillette. It’s a type of baguette sandwich, but they add frites on top (think hamburger with French fries on it).
We walked on and passed this castle looking remnant. We can’t figure out what it is called, but it looked pretty cool. We arrived at Place de L’Albertine and walked through Mont Des Arts. The building that houses the Musical Instrument Museum was very interesting. Then we wandered through Parc de Bruxelles. After sitting for awhile we decided that we wanted to visit our favorite bakery before heading home. That was our first mistake.
When we go off of the Metro, we couldn’t get on the right bus because the EU had all of the streets in the area blocked off for some type of function. So we had to walk, SOME PEOPLE started go in the wrong way, I won’t say who! But, we eventually got there. When it was time to leave, we were going to catch the bus because of all of the walking that we had to do all day, but no, the EU spoiled our plains yet again! So more walking. But it was okay because we got to go through the park Cinquantenaire again and I got some really beautiful pictures of roses and other flowers. There all on the plants here that bloom have SOOOOOO many blooms on them. It’s beautiful!
Ikea, Mall, and beer! 6.15.2010
On Tuesday the 15th my mother and I started out the day by picking my younger sister up early from her last day of school. We planned on getting lunch at the local Ikea. This Ikea is bigger than the one in Round Rock TX. Trying to get there using the GPS was straight comedy! It was telling us to turn on streets that weren’t there and to keep right and to keep left at unnecessary times. I swear we could make an extremely successful comedic movie on just that subject alone! Especially with my mother’s driving!
When we finally made it to Ikea, the first thing that I noticed was that the parking lot was completely different. (See pictures with date 6.15.2010 to the right of the page) No paint, just fancy bricks! I think I liked it. A couple things that are different when you go out to eat here is that the cups are smaller, there is no ice, and you have to pay for water. (water enriched with minerals). The no ice thing is hard for me! I like ice ALL the way to the top!
After lunch my mother dropped my sister and I off at the mall so that my sister could get a dress to go out in Friday night (we later found out that we couldn’t go because the trip my sister is going on to Italy got moved up to leave Friday night). Another difference: no sale racks. They only have sales once a year here and the rest of the year items are full price.
My sis and I took the bus home and went out for a raspberry beer later on that evening, some guy with a unibrow wanted to take a picture with us. We obliged.
When we finally made it to Ikea, the first thing that I noticed was that the parking lot was completely different. (See pictures with date 6.15.2010 to the right of the page) No paint, just fancy bricks! I think I liked it. A couple things that are different when you go out to eat here is that the cups are smaller, there is no ice, and you have to pay for water. (water enriched with minerals). The no ice thing is hard for me! I like ice ALL the way to the top!
After lunch my mother dropped my sister and I off at the mall so that my sister could get a dress to go out in Friday night (we later found out that we couldn’t go because the trip my sister is going on to Italy got moved up to leave Friday night). Another difference: no sale racks. They only have sales once a year here and the rest of the year items are full price.
My sis and I took the bus home and went out for a raspberry beer later on that evening, some guy with a unibrow wanted to take a picture with us. We obliged.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Straight off the plane.
So my first day in Brussels was pretty fun and definitely tiring! As soon as I got off of the plane my parents whisked me to the Grand Place (after a quick stop to the apartment to put my luggage away) in an effort to keep me awake so that I could acclimate to the time change easier. We got there by bus and the underground. As we walked down to the underground the smell or urine hit our noses. I said, “It smells like urine.” My parents said, “yeah” nonchalantly. That made me laugh on the inside. I like how they just accepted that that was the way it was and didn’t complain like Americans would have. As we walked though the tunnels to get to underground, a man played an instrument that was a wooden box with strings strung across it. He struck the strings with the sticks that looked like backscratchers. The music sounded middle eastern and was quite pleasant.
After ridding the underground, we stopped at some shops and I had my first Belgian waffle. It was divine. It was thick and chewy and it had fresh strawberries on top. Then I saw the Grand Place and some human statues trying to make a quick buck, when the one I took a picture with found out that I was from America he immediately said Barak Obama. That was kind of weird, I mean did he just say that because I was black??? Then we walked to Mannenken Pis which is a statue/fountain of a little cherub-like boy pissing. I’m glad that I got to see the real thing, I have a family friend that use to watch me when I was a wee lass that had one similar pissing into her pool.
Then we found Jeanneken Pis which is a statue/fountain of a little girl poppin’ a squat! I liked that even more! Finely people who have a scatological sense of humor like me! By the time that we sat down to eat lunch I was fading fast. It was so hard to keep my eyes open and my mom said that I looked stoned! Hmmm…..I wonder why she knows what that looks like? I did get to try some frites (like French fries) with mayonnaise and it was quite tasty. The mayo was different than American mayo and complimented the potatoes very well.
I got to get some comfy pants from a tent market and visited a chocolatier. We got back on the metro (underground) and then walked the rest of the way home. I tried to stay awake, but only lasted until 6pm in the middle of painting my nails. Lights out!
If you want to see pictures of some on the places that I went, go to the like to the right of the page labeled: FIRST DAY PHOTOS
After ridding the underground, we stopped at some shops and I had my first Belgian waffle. It was divine. It was thick and chewy and it had fresh strawberries on top. Then I saw the Grand Place and some human statues trying to make a quick buck, when the one I took a picture with found out that I was from America he immediately said Barak Obama. That was kind of weird, I mean did he just say that because I was black??? Then we walked to Mannenken Pis which is a statue/fountain of a little cherub-like boy pissing. I’m glad that I got to see the real thing, I have a family friend that use to watch me when I was a wee lass that had one similar pissing into her pool.
Then we found Jeanneken Pis which is a statue/fountain of a little girl poppin’ a squat! I liked that even more! Finely people who have a scatological sense of humor like me! By the time that we sat down to eat lunch I was fading fast. It was so hard to keep my eyes open and my mom said that I looked stoned! Hmmm…..I wonder why she knows what that looks like? I did get to try some frites (like French fries) with mayonnaise and it was quite tasty. The mayo was different than American mayo and complimented the potatoes very well.
I got to get some comfy pants from a tent market and visited a chocolatier. We got back on the metro (underground) and then walked the rest of the way home. I tried to stay awake, but only lasted until 6pm in the middle of painting my nails. Lights out!
If you want to see pictures of some on the places that I went, go to the like to the right of the page labeled: FIRST DAY PHOTOS
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